Helping Your Client Get Their Groove Back in a Fear Based Economy
Divorce touches all parts of our client’s lives. Like a mobile over a baby’s crib, when one part is pulled, the rest of the mobile moves too – finances, identity, friendships, family, career.
Career plays an important role in finding a new equilibrium. Some people will need a series of short term solutions to get financially stable. Others have an opportunity to take a big leap into a new career right away. Whatever the next step is, it’s important that people have ownership of the decision and that it’s connected to their values.
While fear is a common part of the divorce process, it doesn’t have to be a blocker to making work changes. In this complex time of across the board changes in every sector (government, corporate, non-profit, education), it’s more important than ever to for this to be an inside-out process.
Below, I share two empowering ideas and Inquiry prompts for you to use as you support your clients as they engage in their job search.
Getting Your Groove Back in a Fear-Based Economy
We see it all the time in job search – messages that instill fear as a motivation.
“5 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid in an Interview!”
“7 Mistakes Job Seekers Make Online and How You Can Avoid Them”
It’s this notion that if we don’t say the right thing, do exactly the right thing, we will never find work we want. These fear-based messages come from all directions and can keep job seekers spinning.
I’m not a big fan of motivation by fear. It feels shortsighted, unkind and most of all, unnecessary. My intention is to open up other, kinder ways of thinking about search and offer them to you to try if it suits you. So here are two ideas you may find useful:
Idea 1 – Listen To Your Fears
We have worry and fear in our search – it’s human. We don’t need external forces such as articles and advisers adding more fear to what we already have. So try clearing out the external messages and get to what your particular fears are. Our own fears have specific messages. They are protecting values that are important to us. They are asking us to listen and be responsive. The concept is to address what that fear is asking for, and then move from a place of action that has it’s source in what feels good, what feels like it gives you energy, what releases you from that anxious feeling.
For example, when it comes to decision making, many people fear making the “wrong” choice, or one they will regret. This fear could be protecting their value of personal integrity – not giving in on what is important to them. One way to prioritize acting in integrity is to line up your head, heart and gut before proceeding with anything. Commit to not going ahead on a decision without this alignment. Give yourself permission to address the value. It doesn’t have to take a long time.
Inquiry: What values are your fears protecting?
Idea 2 – Take Ownership of Your Search
It can seem like employers have all the cards– they have lots of candidates to choose from, they know what they are looking for (which they may or may not tell us) and they hold the decision-making power. We can get so caught up in doing and saying whatever we think the employer wants to hear (what I call tap dancing) that we forget who we are and what we want. Consider unleashing yourself from the impossible dance of being someone else for someone else. We have control over:
- deciding what is most important to us (money, flexibility, benefits – it’s incredibly individual)
- creating a resume that is a clear, genuine picture of ourselves that we are proud to submit
- representing ourselves in search conversations (networking, interviewing) in a consistent and sincere way
- deciding where we work
Inquiry: What aspects of ownership can you embrace in your search?
Whether you are looking for a new position by choice or by chance, you have the choice to openly listen to your fears and act from a place of ownership. It takes courage – and can lay the groundwork for successful transitions now and for the rest of your life.
For more information visit Aubrie @ https://coachingforclarity.net/
